


Chronicles of Sonny Carisi Thinking He Knows Spanish

by theheadlessqueen



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barisi - Freeform, Developing Friendships, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Humor, Implied Relationships, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Slash, in which i shit on carisi a little bit for being bad at spanish, nick and rafael are friends for once, rafael and olivia are good friends, smut in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 20:14:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12614568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theheadlessqueen/pseuds/theheadlessqueen
Summary: “Hola, Counselor Barba!”He thought it was common sense that “Hola” is pronounced with a silent ‘H’. Apparently not.Barba wittily replied, “If you ever feel the need to speak Spanish in my presence, please only use the formal ‘usted’, Carisi.”





	Chronicles of Sonny Carisi Thinking He Knows Spanish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> A/N: So @rafaelbarbae and I were discussing how when Sonny Carisi first appeared on SVU he spoke really poor Spanish to Luna (an underage sex worker), and we decided to make a series of him thinking he knows spanish and having Barba and Amaro roast him endlessly about it, also hc that Barba and Amaro aren’t really friends EXCEPT to talk shit about Sonny in Spanish lmao! It will be a collection of Sonny putting his foot in his mouth (pre-relationship, then during).

(This is early on season 16, or later 15 probably where Sonny is new but Nick is still there). 

 

The first time Det. Dominick “call me Sonny” Carisi Jr. tries to speak Spanish to ADA Rafael Barba, he thought he had a stroke.

“Hola, Counselor Barba!”

He thought it was common sense that “Hola” is pronounced with a silent ‘H’. Apparently not. 

Barba wittily replied, “If you ever feel the need to speak Spanish in my presence, please only use the formal ‘usted’, Carisi.”

 

He and Nick Amaro didn’t even get along that well, but Nick chuckled and Barba smirked.

 

Sonny looked completely confused. “Hey, are you insinuating that I don’t know Spanish? Because I do! I took a full four years of it! In High school! I drink tequila and have a duolingo for christsakes!”

Nick shot Barba a glance of disbelief, and Barba glared at this new detective. If looks could kill. 

 

"I mean Spanish and Italian are basically the same right???" Carisi contested.

 

Nick was internally screaming at this point, but it was like a car crash he couldn’t look away from. 

 

Sonny said, “Look, I know what you’re thinking. But I can totally speak Spanish! I’m practically fluent.”

 

Barba gave him a look, “Oh okay. Four years makes you an expert. Say something in Spanish to me.”

Carisi scrunched up his face and said, "Yo estoy un guapo y bicicleta azul mañana.”

Everyone stared at him and started to giggle. Carisi attempted to redeem himself, "Uh...yo embarazado."

  
Barba and Amaro grin widely and cackle, Amaro replies, “Oh yeah? When are you due?”

Sonny gave a look of puzzlement and Amaro almost felt sorry for the poor guy. “Listen, you know that you just said that you’re pregnant right?”

 

Carisi was still too proud to admit he was wrong at this point, "I mean I'm not up on slang or anything but i did learn * **proper** * Spanish from Spain so..."

  
It took everything Nick had in him to not go for the new detective’s throat. Rafael walks over to Nick’s desk and starts to talk shit about Sonny.

"¿Puedes creerle a este tipo? El nervio de este yuma nuevo. No puedo creer que Tony Soprano piense que domina el español"

Nick replied, “¿Yo se, verdad? Es como un pez gordo, una gran albóndiga.”

Barba laughed at that thought, “Verdad! Su bigote es tan feo. Parece que atropelló a una rata, y luego se le quedó pegado en la cara.”

Nick cracked up and they were both in tears at this point. 

 

Olivia walked out of her new office and into a scene of communication mayhem. She could hear most of it from her office, but didn’t want to intrude. She knew that Sonny was having a hard time adjusting, so she didn’t want to intrude. But considering that most of her squad EXCEPT Carisi knew Spanish, she should probably relieve him of this embarrassment for today. 

“Hey, hey. We’re all on the same team here, alright? Amaro? Knock it off. And Barba, I thought you knew better than to bully the precinct?”

 

Barba rolled his eyes, “Do you want to be in the group chat later or not, Liv?” Olivia gave him a slight glare, “Barba…” 

“I know, I know. Best behavior. I came to pick up the files from the Lawrence deposition after all. I’ll be on my way now.”

 

Rafael didn’t tell Olivia Benson or anyone else that he and Nick Amaro were secretly texting back and forth about Carisi. 

 

That night when Carisi got home, he googled some things they said about him. He shaved his moustache that very night. 

________________________________________________________________

 

The day after, Sonny writes a card to both each  Barba and Amaro saying "lo siento” with a frowny face on it.

Sonny was waiting for Nick’s reply in person and he could only dignify him with a, "....cool but that's still middle grade Spanish at best." 

 

Sonny shrugs, good enough for him!

 

Barba calls him for the first time, “Listen. I appreciate you wanting to try to speak Spanish to us, but if you ever feel like talking to vics or suspects in Spanish...please don’t. Comprende?” And as he said the last word, he said it in the most Midwestern American accent possible, with the hard “R” in all. 

____________________________________________________________________

 

Next Christmas, Sonny almost completely forgets about the entire incident except when Olivia appears with a present on his desk.

“Oh! What do I owe the pleasure?”

 

Olivia gives him a Rosetta stone disk and says "It's a gift from Barba and Amaro.” With a slight smile on her face. 

 

Sonny rolls his eyes, “Ha ha. Very funny”. 

  
  



End file.
